I am homesick for a place I have never seen before.
In English class we talk about you a lot. It seems no one knows you very well, but no one likes you too much. Tell me, is it because they fear you? You know their hearts–theirs are not mine to know. Do their words and thoughts fall on you like spit or like the blows you felt walking on that darkened hill? Or are your eyes still burning? Do you not feel the hurt anymore? What do the recesses of your heart look like? It feels like home to me, my refuge, my resting place. But do you keep from me what I can’t ever dare comprehend? How much do you hurt?
Your love goes deeper than these mortal wounds, I know. But I want to know you more. The more I’m with you, the less people see of me. It hurts, but I will say over and over and over again that I am okay with that. In my heart of hearts, this is what I want. You know my desires, and you satisfy them.
I’m okay with that. Sorry if it’s half-hearted or un-believed while you long for all of me. I’m still praying: take it all. take it all. take it all.